Self-Love begins with Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness

Why do we find it necessary to constantly criticize and judge ourselves so harshly? As if that was not already energy zapping enough, we set unreasonable expectations, or plan the next set of goals, without allowing ourselves to honor and relish our current successes. We may have a pesky inner voice that is constantly distressing us for something we did, or did not do. Everyone has an inner critical voice, some have learned to tame it, but some have a more vicious and vocal inner critics. It not only causes us emotional stress, but physical stress, in fact, more than any other trauma you may ever experience in life.

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Most of the time it’s a learned behavior that may not even be in our conscious awareness. It is trapped deep in our subconscious (aka Shadow self). One of the most powerful ways to quiet our inner critic is through self-compassion. When we are compassionate toward ourselves, we open ourselves up to self-forgiveness. Oh yes…love our shadow self and push past those blocks into a new stage of personal growth and transformation.

When we have compassion for ourselves, we understand and accept ourselves the way we are. We begin to see ourselves in our true form…in other words we see ourselves as our authentic Divine Self. If we make a mistake, we forgive ourselves; after all, it is our life lessons that allow us to be compassionate and loving to others. We have reasonable expectations of ourselves. We set attainable goals. We can laugh at our imperfections with love. We notice all the good and loving support around us.

How do we choose what our mind perceives? Compassion is a skill. That means we can improve it, if we already have it, or we can acquire it if we don’t. The next time we hear our inner critic punishing us about something we did or did not do, counter this negativity by telling ourselves something positive. It is within our Power to flip the switch of despair to delight. We can often heal our wounds and recover from our pain, but first we must choose how our mind perceives these experiences.

We must learn to honor our humanness with Love and Compassion. After all, who are we trying to gain approval from? We hold the ruler to measure our own success. We are always in control of how our mind perceives and in return creates a positive influx of emotions. We all deserve to feel loved. Immerse yourself in the joy of love, as it touches our heart and fills our essence we want nothing more than to spread the bliss.

Below are ways to begin your practice of self-compassion.

The two affirmations below are from The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations That Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential by Charlene M. Proctor, PhD. I included one for male and female because I believe in Ying/Yang principal which means we all have equal masculine and feminine qualities. It is important to bring forth balance of both.

Self-Love: Female Qualities

I love being female. I am all seasons, all cycles, and all elements. Each breath I take is prayer as I connect with Mother Earth, the great primordial womb. I see the Goddess in me now and view the past with love. I am lovable and worthy of love because I already exist in a symbiotic state of love with Mother God. As I occupy my body of earth-femaleness, I walk with Her in loving harmony.

Self-Love: Male Qualities

My male qualities balance my female qualities. I love my two distinct energies, which cannot exist without each other. My masculine side brings order but cradles my feminine side, and my feminine side embraces and gives birth to my masculine side. I am both parts of Mother and Father God, whose arms are in an eternal, loving embrace

Below is a Kuan Yin invocation

Kuan Yin always hears and answers our prayers and no special ritual is necessary to contact her. However, you may feel a more heart-centered connection with her through the use of flowers. For instance, hold a blossom, gaze at a budding plant, or bouquet, or draw or look at a picture of flowers. Those who work closely with Kuan Yin often chant the mantra: Om Mani Pudme Hum which means “Hail to the jewel in the lotus flower.”

One prayer that will help you invoke Kuan Yin is:

Beloved Kuan Yin, please hear the prayers within my heart. Please uncover and understand what my true needs are. I ask for your intervention into the areas of my life that are triggering pain. Please come to my aid and assistance, guiding me to see my situation in a new light of love and compassion. Please help me be like you and live peacefully and purposely.

Also, remember that the above are only suggestions. You can modify or create affirmations that resonate with you.

With Much Love,


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